By Billy “Kneecap” Braddock

It’s August and it’s hot. Why? In the 70s I was told that the earth was experiencing global cooling and we were in for a mini Ice Age. I sold my air conditioner and bought an extra set of leathers. In 1977, Democrat Gov. Jerry Brown claimed that the two-year drought in California was being caused by global cooling. Now, he says that California faces an unprecedented drought, caused by global warming. Is it a coincidence that the first time Jerry Brown was governor California had a drought and now the second time that he’s governor, California has another drought?

The tree hugging green people try to blame global warming on the increase in CO2. The EPA better-known as “Extreme Pain in the A**” blames the increase in CO2 levels in the atmosphere is caused by the burning of fossil fuels. Actually, it’s just an anti-industrial campaign to form a world socialist government. What is the motive behind politicians, green corporations and green scientists promoting the fear of “global warming”? Do you think maybe $22 billion a year that the government pays to stop the “global warming epidemic” might be an influence? That is twice as much as our government spends on securing our borders. Why is it that the CO2 was 10 times higher than it is today when modern life evolved? (I guess Fred Flintstone was really driving an SUV.) This fundamentally contradicts the certainty that human caused CO2 are the main cause of global warming. Humans just aren’t capable of predicting global temperature changes. Mother Nature and the Sun take care of that. When liberals burn their toast they blame the bread. A liberal told me that in the future “you will never see a polar bear”. I said “I never saw a dinosaur neither”. The next time a global warming activist confronts you, just ask “What is the ideal temperature for the planet?” All you will here is “DA”!

If meteorologists using the most sophisticated computers can only forecast weather a day or two in advance, how can climatologists project climate years ahead?
97% of the CO2 entering the atmosphere is from nature. In 2014, NASA launched a satellite that measured CO2 levels around the globe. They assumed that most of the CO2 would be coming from the industrialized northern hemisphere but surprisingly it was coming from the rainforests in South America, Africa, and China. Global warming hoaxers claim that their statistics are irrefutable. I remember a statistic back in 1964 that claimed “97% of the women who got pregnant had eaten mashed potatoes”. I made sure that all my dates ate French fries.

Pres. Obama feels that global warming is more of a threat than terrorism or ISIS. He may be right. He just opened the door for Iran to procure a nuclear bomb. Iran WILL warm up the planet. It’s said that the temperatures of a nuclear explosion can reach those of the interior of the Sun about 100,000,000 degrees Celsius. Now, that would definitely cause some global warming, but at least we get to see a brilliant fireball.

When Bill Clinton was asked about global warming, he said, At least you can’t blame Hillary for that but then again global warming might thaw her out.

Here’s what I think. Female orgasms are like global warming. I don’t believe they’re made by man.

See you on the shiny side of tomorrow.