By Billy “Kneecap” Braddock

This is a Federal Election Year. So if you hate to be lied to, for the next five months, you’re not going to be happy. Every day on the idiot tube, we hear how bad the other guy is. We hear the word “Forward”. I hate to tell you but instead of forward, we need to stop, turn around and return to the policies that made this country great. The word “Forward” has been associated with many Communist and Socialist publications. Is that really the way we want to go?

Pay attention. This is a very important election. Take a look at what this government has done in the past three years. They’re bankrupting the coal industry, but they gave us a curly cue light bulb that’s full of mercury, and made in China.

Now, just like the EPA to come up with something that doesn’t work, too expensive and you need to call the government if they break. And before the killing of Osama bin Laden, we heard how bad enhanced interrogation is. Now, it’s accredited with his location and killing. After being married numerous times, I’m very familiar with enhanced interrogation tactics. And remember, with the dumbing down in our government schools, we have voters that if they were any dumber, they would have to be watered.

Now I’m going to ruffle some feathers. I’ve often said that I feel we have too many laws and regulations. However, there are certain things our government is required to do. One of those things is to keep the populace safe. Lately, the news media has been inundated with stories about car crashes involving senior citizens. In the next 20 years the number of elderly drivers is predicted to triple in the United States. We all know that Florida is the land of the retired, so if it is going to triple in the United States imagine what’s going to happen in Florida.

Research on age-related driving concerns has shown that around the age of 65, drivers face an increased risk of being involved in a vehicle crash. After age 75, the risk of driver fatality increases sharply. Three behavioral factors, in particular, may contribute to the statistics: poor judgment in making left-hand turns; drifting within the traffic line; and decreased ability to change behavior in response to an unexpected or rapidly changing situation.

Even though I’m approaching this age, I still feel that mandatory driving tests should be required every two years after 70, and every year after 75. They should be free of charge, and concentrate on vision and ability. In the meantime, what should we do? On one hand I want to support their continued mobility, but on the other hand, I worry about their driving abilities. Unfortunately, we don’t all retain the ability to drive a car through our lifetime. Physical disabilities, mental illness, medications, loss of vision, or frailty can end anyone’s driving career. I realize that losing a drivers license is very disturbing to most older people. It takes away their independence, but for theirs and our safety we need to address this situation. Being a biker this really concerns me. I’m not just picking on the aged; I’d also like to see the age to get a driver’s license raised to 18. Young drivers are just as dangerous because they feel bulletproof.

In Florida, June is the start of dog days. When I am reincarnated I guarantee I want to come back as a dog. It’s no surprise that I love animals. They’ve always been part of my life as a farm kid. Some we fed, some we ate. Since I got my shelter beagle, I have certainly learned to laugh at living with him. He probably thinks I’m funny too. Our farm dogs weren’t allowed in the house. Not so today. He gets his choice of where to sleep, and how long! In the sack he stretches out, with his body stretching out, leaving only a narrow strip of the queen-size mattress for us. I always thought dogs were to sleep at their master’s feet. I guess we know who the Master is. Then when he wakes up he has a tendency to lick himself in hard-to-reach places, trying to make me jealous. Maybe he has an edge, but licking for 5 minutes is just showing off. Then after using his tongue as toilet paper, he wants to give me a great big slurping kiss. And I let him do this. To top this off, we refer to ourselves as his mommy and poppy. How much of a wussy have I become? He even sent flowers and a card to her on Mother’s Day. June is Father’s Day. So I am expecting to get a new pooper scooper. We should rent our dogs to the police department as a negotiator for hostages, because they get anything they want, every time they want it. Plus, I’ve also learned that I really am a redneck, since I have flea and tick shampoo in my shower.
See you on the shiny side up tomorrow.