By Billy “Kneecap” Braddock

I get tired of eating out so I decided to have a homemade meal for change. So I opened the freezer got out a Hungry Man dinner and put it in the microwave. Hey, I made it at home, didn’t I? While I was waiting for my dinner I decided to listen to the news. I turned on, tuned in, and dropped out. They were excoriating some 82-year-old basketball team owner who was far from being politically correct. He had been taped in the privacy of his bedroom. Even though the guy is a complete idiot; was his constitutional rights infringed upon?

I don’t need ice cream to get a brain freeze. All I need is some progressive liberal telling me that a convicted murderer was subject to a botched execution. His 8th amendment rights were violated. REALLY? What about the rights of the 19-year-old girl he beat, sodomized, raped, shot twice with a shotgun, and buried alive? Was her right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness violated or terminated? Of course, our illustrious White House had to criticize the so-called botched execution. It said the execution of a death row prisoner in Oklahoma fell short of the humane standards that must apply to carrying out the death penalty. I wonder if being buried alive fell short of humane standards.

Executions are now being postponed all around the country for various reasons. One reason was a shortage of lethal injection drugs. Do we have a shortage of bullets, electricity, ropes, or stones? Another reason used was intellectual disability. If that’s the case we would have a hard time executing anybody in Congress.

In order to unfreeze my brain I think I’ll go have a toddy. I think I need a cafe-whiskey-mocha-Prozaclatte. As a matter fact, I’m thinking about opening a new bar but I need a name. Here are some of them I’ve come up with. Full Of Bull Bar, Greasy Dicks, Bull and Politician Pub, Hic Up Haven, Fragrant Flatulence, Barfer’s Bar, Get Pickled Pub, The Beer Gut, No Apparent Reason, Assorted Butts Bar, Hot Nuts Inn, Blue Balls, Big Weenies, Dick and Bush Bar, Get Nagged, He’s Not Here, You Fell Inn, Big Hairy Haven, A Little Fuzzy, Skunks Hole, Camel Toe, and Dog And Duck. If you have any suggestions write a letter to my editor she would love to hear from you.

I got a lot more to say about the death penalty and many other topics.

Go to my website: nobodiesopinion.com to read more.

See you on the shiny side up tomorrow.