By Billy “Kneecap” Braddock

Lately, we’ve been hearing a lot about Superheroes. We have Superman, Spider-Man, Invisible Man, and Batman, just to name a few. I’ve always considered myself to be a “SUPERHERO”. I call myself “Obnoxious Man”. I am one of the most reprehensible writers I know. I shoot insensitive remarks at the politically correct. I’ve always been known to be an equal opportunity offender. I can offend without discrimination. Because my favorite team is the Gators, my uniform colors will be orange and blue. Orange spandex tights and a blue tight fitting spandex top with a big O on the front. The cape will have to be bright fluorescent orange. It will give the illusion that I am flying when I’m riding my scooter. I’ll have a sidekick like Batman has Robin, but because I like animals, my beagle will be by my side. I’ll need to change his name from Squirt to a fear producing name like “CHOPPER”. He already has bright orange water wings. Everyone will know me as a non-virtuous, persistent, not so good do-gooder, with a strange sense of humor who has long hair and wears thongs. If you see a biker wearing blue and orange spandex with a big flowing cape and a dog with orange water wings, give me a wave. Since there isn’t capital punishment for stupidity, one of my main jobs will be to remove the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself. Isn’t it great that we live in a country that we complain about things that work? I tried being normal, but got so bored, I went back to being me.

August was a month where there were numerous gun buyback programs. Last month, my column discussed legal gun ownership. I still believe that legal gun ownership could possibly lead to a safer society. Some examples I used was Illinois and Washington, DC where the right to bear arms is explicitly prohibited. DC’s crime rate is up 40% this year. Chicago murder up 38% and they have had 240 murders this year already. Chicago holds these gun buyback programs. This is nothing but a waste of time for the police. How many illegal gun owners will turn over their weapons? How many guns would have to be brought back in order to achieve a statistical certainty of saving one life? More than 65,000 guns. The average buyback nets 400. Politicians, cops on the beat, and the media know it’s a scam. This is done to try to create a completely reliant society. I’m tired of hearing “they took the law in their own hands”. This is complete nonsense. The law is in our hands. The people establish the law, and the rule of law was established in the Constitution. Stop the nonsense about the law not being in our hands. If not in your hands…whose hands would you choose? Would you rather scream at a criminal who is threatening you and your family “I’m dialing 911”, or equalize the playing field with a .357, taking the law into your own hands. As a Superhero I am compelled to defend the Second Amendment and the right to bear arms. I don’t think I will be turning in any of my weapons to a buyback. “No Freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms” Thomas Jefferson.

One of the biggest lies I tell myself is “I will remember it, so I don’t have to write it down”. Knowing this, I decided to become a little more computer savvy. Some things I don’t understand. Why would you have a computer with Windows? I have Windows in my office, in my kitchen, and all over the house. Why do I need them in a computer? I go out of my way to keep mice out of my home, but I have a mouse to operate my computer. And in order to turn it off, I have to click “Start”. In order to start some programs the screen tells me to press any key. I can’t find the “Any Key”. I’ve decided that it would be great if when I mess up my life, I could simply press “Ctr Alt Delete” and start all over.
Thought of the month. Do you know that saying “it goes without saying”? Why does anybody even bother saying that?

See you on the shiny side of tomorrow…