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Well, we survived Bike Week and again we had to hear about the noise from the same whiners who have been trying to rid the great city of Daytona Beach of all the events that keep the city from becoming an overrated swimming hole. If the complaints and the restrictions continue, instead of referring to the town as the “City of the World’s Most Famous Beach” it will be the “City of Vacant Buildings”. If it’s the family atmosphere they want they should go to Disney World. If it is quiet that they want, they should take their Hoveround or golf cart and they should move to “The Villages”.

Anyhow, we are in the interesting month of April. It starts with the 1st being “All Fools Day” and ends with the 30th being “National Honesty Day”, then there is the 15th, “Tax Day”. Does that mean that you are a Fool if you are Honest on “Tax Day”? Now, I don’t mind paying taxes since I found out that the government spent $3.1million on erectile dysfunction drugs for Medicare recipients. Great, old people fornicating on the taxpayer’s dime! Finally, the Feds found a sensible way to spend money. This gives me something to look forward to, because I only have two emotions, HUNGRY and HORNY. So when I’m 65, I’ll get Food Stamps and Viagra.

I wouldn’t know, but somebody told me that in the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now, the world is weird and people are taking Prozac to make it normal. I stopped taking drugs so I would have more time to drink. You’re just jealous ’cause the voices only talk to me.

Somebody sent me an e-mail that ILLINOIS is going to make public the names of all firearms owners in the state. What a great idea. Stop and think about it. If you’re a criminal would you confront a person that you know owns a gun? Not likely. When the public realizes this, most will go out and buy a gun so they can get on the list. The crime rate would go down.
The bad guy might even need to get a job with the government, where stealing is legal. He’ll learn to use a computer. Then he will learn that the original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. I hope Florida follows suit so we can spend less money on prisons and more on saving the turtles and manatees so we won’t run out of food.

By the way, the publisher has redeveloped the paper on my page. If you scratch and sniff my picture you will smell the scent of Roses.

See you on the shiny side of tomorrow…

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