By Billy”Kneecap”Braddock

Happy New Year. Here’s hoping you had a very, very Merry Christmas. I was surprised when more merchants were acknowledging Christmas instead of wishing you a Happy Holiday. I was impressed when a girl at the deli counter of Winn Dixie wished me a Merry Christmas. Maybe the Bah! Humbug! People are losing.

The best explanation of the War on Christmas is that it is government we are supposed to worship, not God. Our faith is supposed to be in government, and government doesn’t like competition.
There is not only a War on Christmas, but there is also one on the Producers.

Just look at the Occupiers. These are the idiots that want free stuff instead of working for it. Free college, health care, housing, etc., and a guaranteed income from the government. The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff. How long do you think this can last? If you question them, you are mean, prejudiced, and racist. Remember, nobody can offend you without your permission. Liberals should move to the middle of the road. It would make it easier to run them over.

Not only liberals are abusing the system, but some of the biggest abusers are the states and local communities. Every time they want something they ask for a Federal grant. Why should the tax money from Montana pay for a park in Georgia, or money from Iowa pay for a bike path in Florida? The Fed is broke. They borrow $.40 of every dollar they spend. If we are to straighten out the country we need to start at the local level. Tell the politicians to stop putting out their hands or we will vote them out of power. They need to stop trying to buy votes with money we don’t have.

The biggest problem is big government, not big business. Because of the ethanol demand, we have a corn shortage. This has caused the price of food to skyrocket. The lack of producing our own energy has increased the price of most everything we buy. Our oil shortage is because nobody checked the oil. Maybe because the Dipsticks are in D.C.

Since it was the Christmas season, I looked to the East (Washington D.C.). I was unable to find a Virgin or three Wiseman. However, I found a lot of Camel squeeze, or maybe it was Bull S#!t. Maybe I will have better luck in 2013. I also found out that the cost for a set of gifts in the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is now over $100,000. $101,119.84 to be exact. Hell, my first wife cost me that much. That was when I learned that Bigamy is one wife too many and Monogamy is the same thing.

Anyhow, I had a great Christmas. My best present was the Beagle puppy (Squirt) that we adopted from the Halifax Human Society. My jaw and stomach hurt from smiling and laughing at his antics. If you want to start your year off right adopt an animal from them. (Gentleman start your pooper scoopers!) The people at Halifax are the greatest, and really care. Remember, if you are unable to adopt, donations are always welcome.

I did get another gift from my girl friend. It was in a box labeled Penis Enlarger. When I opened it, it was a magnifying glass with a warning not to use in sunlight. I think I’ve reached my Sexpiration Date.

See you on the shiny side of tomorrow…