By Billy”Kneecap”Braddock

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Here we are in October waiting patiently for Biketoberfest. The anticipation of great entertainment, bike shows, bikini contests, etc., sometimes overrides our concerns for safety. We have had numerous bike wrecks this year. Most have been the fault of cages, but sometimes I wonder if some could have been avoided had the rider been more observant.

The number of registered motorcycles has increased dramatically, and so has the amount of accidents. Motorcyclist’s risk of a fatal crash is 35 times greater than a passenger car. Riding a motorcycle is fun and exhilarating, but it can be dangerous. 93% of accidents occurred on non-interstate roadways. 51% were intersection crashes. 40% of the crashes the other vehicle was turning left when the motorcycle was going straight, passing, or overtaking the vehicle.

Speeding and over indulgence are also a major factor in wrecks. Even though the official dates for Biketoberfest are October 13-16th, many bikers come early. Many will not be familiar with our roads. Local cages aren’t use to the heavy bike traffic. It’s up to each rider to ride defensively. My favorite T-shirt says “Gray haired riders didn’t get there by luck”. I ride like I’m the Avatar in a video game and everyone is trying to destroy me. Be safe, ride smart, and say “hey” when you see me.

Now, let’s get to the important stuff. Anyone who reads this column knows I’m not Politically Correct, and lacking in etiquette, but I’m a connoisseur of “Farts”. Never trust a fart or hold your farts in. Holding them in could cause them to travel up to your brain and give you shitty ideas. Talk about shitty ideas; let’s look at the debt ceiling. The sewer in your house has backed up and the sewage is up to the ceiling. Do you raise the ceiling or pump out the shit?

Another thing I learned the other day. We are all familiar with a “Herd of cows”, a “Flock of chickens”, and a “School of fish”. But, did you know that a group of Baboons who are the loudest, most dangerous, obnoxious, viciously aggressive and the least intelligent of all primates are called a Congress. Do you think that may explain Washington?

My thoughts on longevity are simple. Just keep breathing and don’t die until Congress gets their heads out of their asses. At the way they are going, you might live forever.

See you on the shiny side of tomorrow…